Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

Friday, July 19, 2013

Bhai

‎1 ladki k paas ek

unknown call aayi..

.
.
.
Ladka:- do u have a bf ??
.
.
Ladki:- yes......b ut
who r u ??
.
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Ladka:- tera bhai.... ruk ghar aa k batata hu..
.
.
.
after few secnd once again unknown call
.
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Ladka:- do u have a bf ??
.
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Ladki:- no i dont know.... :(
ladka:- to mai kaun hu ?? :(
Ladki:- ohh sorry jaan maine socha bhai
hai... :(
.
Ladka:- mai bhai hi hu..... :@
"bas aaj to tu gayi...... :p :D

Friday, December 14, 2012

Tech Support

This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?


****************************
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
****************************

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
****************************

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: ! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

****************************
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.

Friday, November 30, 2012

How hairs turns white?

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

Friday, November 23, 2012

Drawing God

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

Friday, July 1, 2011

Face off

An American, an Englishman and a Indian went for a hike one day.
It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted. When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water since it was fairly secluded

Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying> their "freedom". As they were crossing an open area,
suddenly a group of ladies from town appeared. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and the Englishman quickly used their hands to cover their privates. But the Indian covered his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the American and the Englishman asked the Indian why he covered his Face rather than his private part
The Indian replied, "I don't know about you, but in my country, it's the face that people recognize."

Friday, June 17, 2011

Woman's Ears... !!!

Banta lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good one in Mumbai, and went to him.
The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said, " Yes, I can put you right."
After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to his hotel.
The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon, and yells, "You bastard, you gave me a woman's ears."
"Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference whether it is a man's or a woman's."
"You're wrong, I hear everything, but I don't understand a thing!"

Friday, June 10, 2011

Only GOD understands us !!!!!!!!

Swarg k dwar pe 3 log khade the.

God : Sirf 1 hi andar ja sakta hai....

1st : Main Brahmin hu, sari umar aapki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera hak hai....

2nd : Main Doctor hu, sari umar logo ki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera haq hai....

3rd : Maine IT MEIN JOB KI HAI.... ......

God : aage kuch mat bol.... Rulaayega kya pagle..? Andar aa ja......... Tera forwarded mails, follow-ups, bench pe 2years, night shifts, PM se panga, CTC se zaada deductions, pick-up drop ka lafda , Ladki na milne ki frustrations, client meetings, delivery dates, week ends mein kaam etc etc…. mere ko senti kar diya yaar…..aja jaldi andar aja…..

Friday, May 13, 2011

INTELLIGENT COUNSEL - GOOD ONE

While visiting India, George Bush is invited

to tea with Abdul Kalam.

He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is.

He says that, it is to surround himself with
intelligent people.

Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says
Kalam. "Allow me to demonstrate."

Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says,

"Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question:
Your mother has a child, and your father has a child,

and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Manmohan immediately responds,

"It's me, Sir !"

"Correct. Thank you and

good-bye" says Kalam. He hangs
up and says," Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot.

I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides

he'd better put Condoleezza Rice to the test.
Bush summons her to the White House and says,

"Condoleezza, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a
child, and your father has a child, and this child is not

your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about
it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves.

Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators,

and they puzzle over the question for several

hours,
but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally,
in desperation,
Rice calls

Colin Powell

and explains the problem.

"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father
has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.
Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House,
finds George Bush, and exclaims,

"I know the answer, sir! I know
who it is!
It's our Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

it's Manmohan Singh!"

Friday, March 11, 2011

Confession

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the
Church.

He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine,
Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a
fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their
garments.

He hears a priest come in:

"Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to
confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting
than it used to be".

The priest replies, "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side".